“So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be put at risk even if you have a hundred battles. If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose. If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.”
– Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Hi! I’m Dr. Sandra Cox and I’ve been working with people for over 20 years, teaching them how to lead happier, healthier and more fulfilled lives. The thing they all have in common is a tendency to undermine themselves without intention to do so. Most of us know what we want, however, we get in our own way of achieving those things and rarely understand how that happens. Until we really know where the pitfalls lie, we can’t overcome them.
The goal itself doesn’t matter. We could be aiming for a healthier body; more intimate and easier relationships; greater financial wellbeing; a deeper spiritual connection or an improvement in our intellectual or creative skills. What matters is what lies in our core belief system that is holding us back. Often, we think that failure to achieve goals is due to outside forces, however, 99% of the time, the cause turns out to be internal.
Even as I write this, my own inner saboteurs lurk behind every corner. They say things like “You don’t have anything to offer.” “You don’t deserve success.” “People aren’t going to be interested in what you have to say, so you might as well give up.” I’m aware of those pesky buggers and keep a close eye on them while I remind myself of the thousands who have benefited from the work we’ve done together. As I say that, don’t, for a minute, think that I hold myself up as having all of the answers or as some kind of guru. It’s been my privilege to witness many people with whom I’ve worked, achieve success in their lives and as a result I’ve learned immensely from them. My patients/clients have been my greatest teachers, not the academic books or professors and attendings.